Self Love, Not Self Critique

This morning I was catching up on last night’s discussion on a WhatsApp group. Yes, I know it is a nuisance but it is also the source of everything from emergency supplies to fancy dress costume ideas to replacement maids! Ladies, you know what I am talking about. Right? Now  among the usual banter, there was talk of body shapes and I realised women of all shapes and sizes complained. That is understandable. After all, we have high standards. As I scrolled further, I realised the impact of our dressing on how we are perceived. Not just by others, but by ourselves too. Are sarees only meant for Satsangs and Keertans?Are ladies who don’t wear trendy dresses any lesser intellectually? I have never seen a single picture of Chanda Kochhar wearing anything other than a saree or an occasional lehnga and am sure no one dare call her intellectually lacking. At the same time Rakhi Sawant wears the trendiest of western wear but she is not someone I see writing editorials for newspapers. Then why do we let clothes define the person? More importantly, why do we let our own clothes shape the perception of ourselves? Our sartorial choices are controlled by our city, religion, society, weather, our body shapes and lastly, our choice of clothing. Then why let these very clothes belittle ourselves?

Most women constantly critique themselves. I feel there is a difference in being aware and being critical. Knowing that you have heavy thighs and not wearing minis and shorts is one thing, constantly telling yourself and others something else. I have observed a snowball effect when discussions like these take place. One person laments about their physical features and before you know it, everyone is putting themselves down. This kind of discussion is just not healthy. If you keep critiquing yourself, the universe will send you more and more reasons to critique. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could practice self love and not self critique? Wouldn’t you want reason after reason to love yourself? I know I would. So ladies, next time your friend tells you that she has a big tummy, or huge thighs, don’t tell her, “Oh but mine is worse”, tell her how good her skin is, how pretty her eyes are and how lovely her hair looks. Let the compliments fly and watch the magic happen!

This blog is a link up with Zainab for what I love

18 thoughts on “Self Love, Not Self Critique”

  1. Totally resonate with you on this. People see someone as fat but don’t see the PCOS behind it. SoneoSo who is thin may have thyroot issue.
    Let’s get beyond this superficial beauty and look at health first.

  2. It is a real issue in today’s times where intellectual capacity is measured by clothes instead of words. Even before a conversation, people have pre conceptions that they create from clothes or appearance. It is no surprise that these preconceptions are often incorrect.

  3. Love the parallels you have drawn via Chanda Kochhar and Rakhi Sawant – how true is that the clothes do not define the woman or her intellect. Complimenting others on their positive points is a wonderful idea Ankita

  4. Clothes decide intellect! I knew clothes decided your status and I hated that idea, this is something even more lame! I like your idea of complimenting others

  5. I really like concept of this blog- ‘self love’. We should first learn to embrace ourselves, no matter in which way.

  6. wonderful post, yes! self love is one of the most important element of our life that brings happiness in our life. it is great to get connected with you through this great series.

  7. I loved this post.Clothes and intellect?Really people think like this ?I had no idea.But jokes aside I think you are bang on about positive self affirmations and morale boosting.#WhatIlove

  8. We women are never happy with how we look or are, despite which I see very few women making an effort to change things for themselves. Ironical:)
    That is a lovely picture of you. Keep smiling:)

  9. This is a common topics among we ladies and I will not deny that I also sometimes feel that I am not perfect. But the next second I realise that I am wrong. Because there’s nothing like perfect. If I will not love my body then who will? And I look myself into mirror and say aloud that I love myself

  10. Nice post , it’s true that most of the women are not happy with their figure but instead of complaining , one should work on it and should be happy in what they are , considering the other good qualities and talent they have 🙂

  11. I think beyond shape and size, everyone has their own health related issues. We only notice which we can see. And as a woman we naturally empathize each other for our weaknesses

  12. Totally agree ankita… feels as if u hav put my thoughts in words…. we hav to accept and love ourselves the way we are…

    1. Hey doc, thank you for your comment. It is a rough journey but an essential one. So much peace once we stop fretting about the little things!

Hope you enjoyed reading this post. Let me know your thoughts :)