Why I Still Celebrate Karwa Chauth

Every year on Karwa Chauth, we have the same discussions coming up – anti feminist festival, oppression of women, backward thinking, questioning why educated women observe this fast. And every year, I think about why I do it, and whether my inclinations have changed. At the outset, I know this fast has nothing to do with ‘Pati Ki Lambi Umar’. My fasting for a day won’t increase his life span. I am well aware of this. Okay, glad we got it out of the way. Why do I do it then? Let’s start at the very beginning.

As a little girl, I loved watching my mom get dressed up. There were few occasions in the year when she got out a saree, and this was one of the special ones. And I loved going to the Pooja with her. All the decked out ladies, watching their dresses, jewellery, makeup. It was an absolute treat. Remember I grew up in the 80s and 90s – the pre YouTube, pre glamorisation of hoi polloi days – and people decked out only for occasions. So naturally, when my turn came, I dove into it with gusto. Initially, the best part about the festival was the mehndi, buying new bangles and dressing up for the evening Pooja. The fast, was incidental. 

When I moved outside India, these festivals help me stay connected with the culture I grew up in. I’ve found community and friends through this celebration, and we turn to each other when we need help, or just someone to talk to. 

As I grew older, the festivities had to fit in a busy life. One year, the husband was travelling, one year we all got conjunctivitis a day before, twice, I had babies to look after and feed, several times key meetings were scheduled, once, five months pregnant, I attended a six hour school annual day celebration, got stuck in traffic for an hour and barely made it to the Pooja. Why did I keep doing it then? Because this is something I did. There are few religious observances I do, and this was one of them. I never questioned why. See, we aren’t taught to question. We aren’t given reasons. We are told to just accept. The Punjabi Katha itself tells nothing about the origins. It talks about the impact of not observing the festival properly and recounting the taboos – Don’t weave, don’t sew, don’t cut, don’t awaken anyone asleep, don’t try to please anyone upset with you. Basically, no extra chores, and forget about opinions. 

Why Do We Celebrate Karwa Chauth?

I’ve always wondered why and how the celebrations started so I’d read up about them. Once amidst all the debate, I came across a piece about the cultural evolution of the festival. One theory suggests that it began in rural India of yore, where the women used this festival to form and foster friendships, and inculcate new brides into the village tribe. It made perfect sense. Most festivals whether about family or community are celebrated in a way that women folk lead the activities – making extra food for guests, making sweets, cleaning the homes, decorating the homes, the cleanup afterward. Here was one festival where women got to indulge in girl-time. Getting together to apply Mehndi, waiting for it to develop, the opportunity to do solah-sringar, wear your beautiful clothes. A much needed downtime for married women who bore many domestic responsibilities. The fasting, I felt was incidental. In fact, if you observe how festivals are celebrated in Northern India, there is usually a fast involved – Navratre, Shivratri, Janmashtami, Ekadashi, Pooranmashi, Shrawan – all have some form of fasting observed. So, if Karwa Chauth has fasting too, it is simply following the spiritual practice of all celebrations.

Since there is no single universally accepted account of the festival, we’ve learnt about it from elders. So rituals vary from family to family. The rule is, do what your mother-in-law tells you. She has been taught by her own mother-in-law, and the oral instruction in rituals has passed down generations. Perhaps this is the reason why mothers-in-law have been portrayed as the flag bearers of oppression. They tell the daughters-in-law what to do!

Now here is where the origins of the fast probably got lost. People explained the what, not the why. The significance of the chalni to see the moon, the Karwa holding the water, sargi, all held meanings that we only decode now. How the festival came to be associated with husband’s life was a mystery to me. But reading some more, I discovered a theory that wives of merchants and soldiers observed fasts for the well-being and safe return of their husbands who were away from home for long periods of time. 

Both the origin stories seem logical to me, both may be true. I don’t know if they are historically accurate. But both give us, the educated women of today, a way to understand the why behind the festival. We can question many things, like why this day, what is it about the energies of this period that makes it suitable to seeking blessings for family? In fact, Ahoi Ashtami falls four days after Karwa Chauth, where mothers observe the same fast for the well-being of their children. But then a mother’s love is widely accepted, a mother’s sacrifices are a given, and there is no need to question how fasting from sunrise to star-rise will improve the well-being of her children. 

My point is, women who celebrate willingly, mustn’t have their motives questioned. Women who don’t want to celebrate, mustn’t have their reasons questioned. By others, at the very least. You can question yours, as I do mine from time to time. 

In this day and age, why fast? Why celebrate? My answer is to celebrate if you enjoy the festivities and rituals. If you get an opportunity to get out of your daily life and spend time with your girlfriends, then by all means, do it. If you like to dress up and love the Shringar, go for it. If you want to fast, sure. If you can’t, or don’t want to, then you don’t owe anyone an explanation.