Have you been to an Indian wedding? Then you probably have met some or all of these people who do super annoying things at weddings that annoy the bride!
Post pictures on social media
We all have that social media freak in our friend circle. Right? The tweet a second, instagram a minute, facebook celebrity. They’d be the first ones to click a selfie with the bride and before she has had the opportunity to check it out, the pic would be online. The bride would be tagged on it with a caption like, “OMGGGGG! At Poochie’s wedding!!!! Can’t believe you are getting married!!!!” Everyone and their dog would have seen the low light, grainy, front camera image weeks before the candid shots the bride got taken and her parents paid a bomb for.
Entering the bridal suite uninvited
At an Indian wedding, every female guest thinks it is her right-by-invitation to enter the bridal suite! The bridal suite is the room where the bride is supposed to be comfortable with a few close friends for company while the baraat dances outside the venue. It is supposed to be a place to calm frayed nerves and jitters. Instead, it becomes a parallel ceremonial stage where ladies of all shapes and sizes comment on the wedding arrangements, complain about things and offer unsolicited advice to the bride. They offer to help touch up her makeup or fix those artfully let out loose strands of hair. They would ask her when she plans to have kids. Some would even go as far as dishing out tips for the wedding night!
Ask the bride why she isn’t wearing Shaadi Waale Rang
Some contemporary brides go for gold, turquoise or even pastel pink for the wedding. It is their big day and their choice. Not everyone likes the traditional bright reds and pinks. God help these brides when the traditional guests come over. She will hear endless variations of “Your lehnga is nice beta but you should have worn the fish-cut in the cocktail. On the wedding day, a full flare one only looks good. And the golden colour is so dull. You should have worn a bright red like my daughter Minti did on her wedding day” Some trendy guest would also comment on how the bride’s makeup is not at all Bridal! “Such little eye shadow and that light lipstick. Should have worn pink lipstick. It brightens the face. I read it in Femina.”
Getting the Bride and Groom Insanely Drunk
A wedding is a big celebration and everyone is out to have a good time. People like to have a drink or two when they celebrate. Sensible brides and grooms would abstain from having too many of those. However, there are those enterprising guests who would spike the cold drinks and try to get the couple drunk. Imagine standing on the wedding stage smiling at everyone and meeting hundreds of people you never met before while your head was spinning. Not to mention the hangover the next morning!
Hogging the Photographer
The photographers are present to capture moments of the wedding – the bride and the groom, the parents, siblings, ceremonies and the guests. In that order. Some guests don’t get that. They think having a photographer around is the perfect occasion to click a portfolio of their twenty something marriageable-age daughter or endless couple shots of them smiling at their partner. First, they would engage the photographer having him miss the other things and then they would complain that none of their pictures found their way into the wedding album!
Every bride has an instruction auntie in the family. The ladies who are a walking encyclopedia on how a perfect bride should behave. They are only too happy to help out the poor clueless brides and would attach them to the bride’s side like a wart! Then comes the constant steam of instructions mumbled underneath forced smiles. “Don’t smile too much. Don’t dance now. Don’t look too happy. Remember to cry during the vidaai. Don’t open your mouth to eat.” How else is the bride supposed to get the food in?
So the next time you are at a wedding, remember this list and see if you can spot these characters that annoyed the bride!