SAHM, WAHM, Working, Momprenuer or not – a mom is a mom. Period.
Women and especially moms are perpetually judged. If we work, we are selfish, if we stay at home, we are incompetent, if we care too much, we are helicopter moms, if we don’t care too much, we are callous! Guess, we get little credit for also being the strong souls, moms mostly are. It’s usually moms who judge other moms – sad but true.
Kiddie tantrums? Moms usually handle it better than dads, don’t we? Fever and a sick child? Moms know what to do here. Moms, just know how to face anything that nature, germs, family, unruly neighbours, our own children or the world at large, throws at us. It’s something that gets fed to our DNAs the minute we are born again as Moms.
That said I am not taking anything away from dads – someone of who are our children’s superheroes; but, more about them, perhaps some other time. This post is about…
Types of Mothers
Stay At Home Mom
Talking about the Stay at Home Moms (SAHM), I always admire one. My mom was a SAHM. Her life revolved around my sister and me. We were priority number 1 – always.
There has been enough said about SAHMs already – some extol how much they sacrifice for their families, some talk about how they are bored most of the times and neglect children for housework – maybe some do. Some discuss about the empty nest syndrome they go through once the fledglings leave home – seen that happen and it is quite heartbreaking.
Then there is the working mom on the other end of the spectrum. I admire her too. This one has to juggle home, office and the children – all together; the one who may have to go through stressful times – when the nanny goes on leave, or the child falling sick on the same day of an important meeting! The one who constantly worries about day-care issues or secretly condemns herself when she catches her child watching regressive soaps with grandparents (I don’t mean to generalize) – but it happens, often.
Does a working mom earn more respect from her children? Does she spend more quality time with them –she isn’t around them always, so she is more energized to play? Does she neglect children for her work? How does she prioritize? Guess no straight answers here.
Work At Home Mom
Then meet the third type, the one I call a WAHM – a Work At Home Mom. The one who claims to be in a better position as she has the best of the both worlds. But does she?
The child’s crying on one end and the phone’s blaring on the other – which one is she going to pick – that’s her daily battle. No one takes her work timing or even her work seriously – “Oh you work from home, so you can finish that later.” She has no control over house guests, visiting relatives, friends etc. Why does the laundrywala always ring the bell, just when she started presenting on her morning video call with colleagues?
Maybe she is always distracted, maybe she is not. May she loves the flexibility, maybe she gets bothered by the lack of structure. Maybe she loves having her baby constantly around, maybe she yearns to get away to office and meet her colleagues. Guess, life is always a little bit of this and a little bit of that.
Being a WHAM, is a middle path, it gives you the luxury of setting your own timetable factoring in the child’s school, nap and play timings. It always give you the flexibility of spending more time with the child on the days when work is thin, or the child is ill, or is moody and generally needs to be with mommy. But on the flip side, career growth slows down or is near static; you may lose out on important projects and may get generally sidelined. It is also difficult to find such work options in our country to begin with.
The fourth one, the MOMprenuers are the emerging breed of mothers, who own their own businesses while taking care of their children. From toys, personalized gifts, to beauty services, from hospitality, baking to business consultancy, from apparel, lifestyle products to IT services, moms have their fingers in many pies. While some moms struggle to even break even, some are already making headlines in eminent business newspapers.
Flexibility, earning your own profits, decision making are some of the factors here that sound lucrative. As there is no fixed income guarantees and also requires investment, this option is a high risk, high gain model.
There is a lot of debate about who is the better mom. I don’t believe in the concept of a better mom. Children have no comparison. They have only one mom – and she means the world to them.
Whether you are a SHAM, a WHAM, are Working or a MOMprenuer; whether you are labeled a helicopter or a callous mom, whether you are strict or you easily give in, whether you are the disciplinarian or a believer in the free spirit, just remember – no one can love your child more than you do.
Yes, we moms have our own quirks, our faults, we make mistakes, we learn, we improvise, we teach, we are taught, we struggle, we give up, we give in, we fight, we lose hope, we regain our faith, we are looked down upon and we are looked up to, we pamper, we are pampered, we put in hard work, we struggle, we get to enjoy cuddly wet kisses and middle of the night warm hugs, we wipe runny noses and clean ice cream mess, we are kind, we are rude, we scream, we screech, we teach manners and all good values, we are role models, we falter, we fall, we get up again, we despair, we hope… We love unconditionally and we are loved unconditionally. And, no one can ever take that away from us.
Kudos to each one of us!
Guys, please Welcome Shraddha, the first guest blogger on Lifestyle of a Professional. She is an excellent writer who puts her heart and soul into her words. She is a very loving mom to 3 year old Rhea who you can see in the pic above.