Every year as March rolls in, tons and tons of blog posts, articles and videos begin to circulate the net about challenges a woman faces. All of it sounds cliched but then there is a contant need to remind ourselves that feminsm exists because women’s issues do. They do need to be talked about so they can be acknowledged, identified and resolved. However, in all that sound sometimes we forget the need to celebrate being a woman and the many roles we play in our lives. This Women’s Day, I want to talk about the three major roles women play and what are my lessons from some women I have observed in these roles. I would start of course with Motherhood.
There is no denying that being a mother is the turning point in every mother’s life. It is a truly life changing experience. The reason for that is that you are now responsible for another person who is simply not capable of caring for themselves. They say parenting has evolved, has changed in the last few decades. I think parenting style may have changed but the essence of a mother daughter relationship remains the same. My mother was a home minister. Not a housewife, not a home maker but truly a home minister. My dad was busy earning for us and mom filled in all other roles except the breadwinner. She was the caretaker, nurse, cook, procurer and the accountant of the family. She immersed herself in her children and home to such a great extent that her own identity faded and came to be very strongly attached to us. Needless to say, when I married and moved to my husband’s home and my brother left to pursue higher education (almost at the same time), the empty nest syndrome hit her so hard that she fell ill. Physically ill. There are many things I have learnt from my mother throughout my life and here are some of them.
Lessons I learnt from my Mother
A Mother is always on duty
It could be the middle of the night or the time for her afternoon nap. She could be in the adjoining room or hundreds of kilometres away, a mother is always on duty. I do not think my mom’s maternal antennae ever shut down! In her head even now, she is constantly thinking about what she needs to do for us. I tell her to relax, but she just won’t listen. She is still on duty.
A Mother just knows
Now this one has puzzled me. I thought it was only my mother who knew Legilimency (even before JK Rowling gave us a term for it) but chats with my friends revealed that most mothers have this super power. The fact that I was probably missed out when this was being handed notwithstanding, a mother just knows the pulse of the child. I don’t know what set her off but many many instances in my childhood have convinced me that mums do not need to have a conversation with the kids to know what is going on in their heads.
A Mother is the daughter’s first best friend
Mother daughter bonds are special indeed. The first influence on your style – be it hair, clothes, makeup or accessories is your mother. It is through her that we learn about everything a girl needs to know. A mother’s thoughts and upbringing is the mould that shapes the daughter’s personality and how she will deal with things all her life. I think I have been my mother’s shadow and then become my own person. Some of my beliefs have changed as I have grown older but a lot of my core values about honesty, about caring, about being true to yourself still come from her early influences.
A mother needs to be told she is appreciated
They say that a job of a homemaker is a thankless one. My mum often said this and when I was slightly older, I understood why. As in any operations job, as long as everything is running smoothly, you are just doing your job – there is no glory. The moment you falter, there are brickbats. Being a mother is something like that. As children, we need to remember that we must be grateful for everything that our mothers did for us and everything they taught us – even when we disagreed with them, it was a lesson in what not to do. This gratitude needs to find an outlet, at least occasionally.
So thank you mom! – anks
Did you guys enjoy reading this post? Watch out for more in the series. I will be posting one everyday till Women’s Day.
note for mom: I did not want to ruin the surprise on Saturday so tried to keep a straight face. Did you guess this was coming?